Ego and Humility
by Ali Summerset
Summary: [Post-Chapter 591, slight spoilers] Innocence is the greatest casualty of War. In the midst of the apocalypse, Fifth Division Captain Hirako Shinji remembers a moonlit conversation. He learns about sacrifice. He teaches about humility.


**Disclaimer: Bleach and all it's characters belong to Tite Kubo**

**A/N: I wrote a HitsuHina fic a while back titled, "Push". Due to personal circumstances, I had to delete it. Here's another attempt at a Bleach fic. The plot bunny just wouldn't go away after I read chapter 591. Hopefully this makes sense. I live for reviews and constructive criticism. (#^_^#)**

*******Daffodil**=** mystery, egoism (interestingly enough, I found out that it can also mean unrequited love)  
*Lily of the Valley= Sacrifice, Danger, Pure Love, Humility, Sweetness  
**

**Ego&Humility**  
_

"_How could it have come to this?"_

Hirako Shinji, reinstated Captain of the Fifth Division, grit his teeth in frustration as he tried to stem the blood dangerously, freely flowing from the gaping wound at his side. A wound not caused by a Quincy, an enemy, but a fellow Captain, his _comrade_.

Said comrade was currently engaged in battle with the Lieutenant of the Fifth Division. That was when Shinji decided his world had turned completely topsy-turvy. Everything was in reverse, even him, because he couldn't appreciate anything.

How could he? The Arranccar were on the "good side" and they were letting them kill fellow Shinigami. Him, and that smug bastard Mayuri were together and fighting one of their own. As if that wasn't enough, the most horrifying thing about the situation was playing out right in front of him.

Hitsugaya Toshiro was trying to kill Hinamori Momo.

The wrongness of it all made Shinji want to puke. He tried to stand, stumbling a bit as he did so. He spied Mayuri slicing along the length of the zombified Captain's arm. He didn't even look fazed as he continued to attack Momo, while she tried to block his vicious attacks with Kido.

"Hmm," He heard Mayuri say contemplatively, "Looks like Ashisogi Jizo's poison has no effect."

"You dumbass!" Shinji was yelling at the top of his voice. "Don't just stand there! Do something!"

"What do you expect me to do? I don't have enough data. At least I'm not a bloody, useless mess like you."

"You-!" He tried to calm himself. What was the point of fighting each other? He shunpoed to where Momo was so he could at least help her, but something blocked his way.

"Hai hai~ Stop right there," The black-haired Quincy playfully said blocking him, "I can't have you interrupt Taichou-chan's fight."

Shinji wanted to slash at her but knew that he couldn't afford to. There was too much risk of her blood spilling on him. Ikkaku and Yumichika had to fight against their squad members. There was no other help coming.

He felt powerless and useless as he heard Momo's desperate cry, "Hitsugaya-Taichou! Please stop this!"

A strange sparkle entered the female Quincy's eyes, "You know I was really mad when Taichou-chan didn't follow my orders."

It was true. The moment Shinji and Momo entered the scene, Shinji realized the situation and he tried to make Momo retreat. But it was too late. As Momo's eyes landed on her childhood friend, they widened with horrifying recognition. The zombie Tenth Division Captain had been fighting the Twelfth Division Captain, but as soon as his eyes met Momo's, he shunpoed to where she was. She had been in shock, and if not for her Captain's quick reflexes, she would've lost her head.

The Quincy admonished him, "Ne ne~ Taichou-chan, ignore that small-fry and finish this annoying clown first. "

But she was the one that was ignored. Shinji tried to battle him somewhere else, but to no avail. He relentlessly pursued Momo. Even now, as the head of the research division continuously attack him, his wounds only kept getting healed, and he concentrated all his focus on Momo.

Shinji was confident in his Vice-Captain's abilities. Even as many continued to underestimate her, there was a reason she remained Vice-Captain and sustained only minimal injuries throughout the course of the war. But, he knew that she was severely outmatched against Soul Society's genius prodigy. It was only a matter of time…

His enemy's playful voice brought him out of his thoughts, "Everybody has an obsession," She confided to him as if she were sharing a secret, "Everyone has something or someone they fixate on. The nature of the fixation differs from person to person, but it's all the same to me once they die. That's what makes mindless zombies like Bambi-chan so easy and fun to control!"

She linked her hands behind her back and swung back and forth as she continued, "How sweet don't you think? Or ironic depending on your perspective. Maybe he had this secret desire to kill her all along! Or maybe he promised to 'protect her forever'!" She mock-swooned, and then adopted a disinterested expression, "Cliché and pathetic, but I don't really care."

"She'll still end up getting killed by him and at the moment of her death, when she realizes her precious friend is her murderer," She clasped her hands in front of her aroused and drooling face, and said, "I wonder what kind of wonderful expression she'll make!"

As his whole being was filled with disgust Hirako Shinji shouted, "MOVE!" and drew his Zanpakuto, consequences be damned.

"Maybe I'll make her into a zombie too and reward Taichou-chan so they can stay together forever!"

"As if I'd let you!" He slammed Sakanade's hilt onto her head hard enough that he heard her neck snap.

He knew that wasn't enough, and as she reset her own neck without effort, Shinji felt immeasurable guilt.

"_If you were in your proper state of mind, you wouldn't let anything happen to her regardless of what happened to you,"_ He briefly glanced at them in horror and sadness, childhood friends pitted against one another, _"And if you awaken long enough to find out you killed her, it wouldn't matter either way."_

_Could you have predicted this when you came to talk to me that night?_

_That night..Did you expect that..._

_It would come to this?_

* * *

"Hirako-Taichou, don't sleep!" Vice-Captain Hinamori tried to wake up her napping Captain.

"Zz..uh..wha-", Captain Hirako Shinji muttered as he lazily opened one eye. Spying his petite Vice-Captain beside his desk holding a mountain-load of paperwork, he grew even more tired. "Momo-chan, it's the calm before the storm. We don't know when the Quincy will attack again so I'm getting all the rest I can," He yawned and tried to go back to sleep on his comfortable desk.

"We still have a lot of work to do! And you're getting drool all over the papers! Mou..." She growled half-heartedly, and then sighed in resignation, "I won't force you to work, but if you want to relax I think it's better if you take a walk instead. The moon's beautiful tonight and you'll get cramps sleeping like that."

Hirako-Taichou waved an arm whilst still keeping his face on his desk, and it seemed like he would ignore her advice. Instead he stilled for a moment and stood up. "Alright, alright. I'll walk around and go back to my quarters after." He waved a relaxed good-bye at her, and exited.

If Hinamori was bothered by her Captain's unusual obedience, she didn't dwell on it too much. Instead she looked at the moon and quietly whispered, although there was no one else to hear, "I don't want to lose this." She sighed wistfully and went back to work.

* * *

Hirako Shinji went on a walk alright. Straight to his quarters where he knew a shadow was waiting for him. The light barely reached here, and it was only when the figure stepped into it that he could make out the white Captain's haori and equally white hair.

Shinji grinned as he greeted the shorter Taichou, "Toshiro! My, my isn't this a surprise? What brings you to my quarters this late at night? Just so you know I'm only interested in cute young girls, not boys."

Tenth Division Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro narrowed his eyes at him. Shinji thought he would growl but he was probably too "mature" for that. Instead he said in a clipped voice, "It's Hitsugaya to you Hirako. And don't pretend; you already knew I was here."

He had to chuckle, "Not Hitsugaya-Taichou huh? Well you can't really pull rank on me, like you do with Momo-chan." Hitsugaya's famous frowning face turned even stormier. Hmm..He must have hit a button. Unfortunately for his fellow Captain, Shinji loved to push buttons, "Speaking of Momo-chan, if you're here for her I can get her for you."

"Cut the crap. I'm here to talk to you."

"And what exactly would the famous prodigy need to talk to me about?"

Besides their shared hatred for Aizen, and relation to Hinamori, the two Captains didn't really have anything in common. He saw no reason for Hitsugaya to bring up his bitter enemy, so the reason would have the be..

If possible, Shinji's Cheshire grin grew even wider, "Even if you're not here for Momo-chan, you're here to talk about her." His silence was enough confirmation.

"Well young grasshopper, as your senpai I suppose I must explain to you the 'birds and the bees' before you try anything.."

He was interrupted by Hitsugaya's incredulous protest, "I'm not here to talk about that!"

"Huh, really? Isn't Momo-chan your first love and aren't you trying to get advice from Soul Society's one and only heartthrob?"

"Hinamori is my childhood friend and nothing more." He said it calmly but his cheeks were tinted with color. Interesting. His tone then turned irritated, "And not everyone is like you Hirako. I'm not here for something as trivial as that. "

Shinji cleaned his ear with a finger and said with a bored tone, "Then what are you here for then?"

He blew on his finger and waited as he looked at Hitsugaya's annoyed face. Perhaps the Tenth Division Captain was wondering why he even bothered to come in the first place. They were colleagues, but they weren't friends. It was clear that even after all this time, the younger Captain still didn't fully trust him. Shinji really couldn't blame him though, considering that the previous Fifth Division Captain was a lying, backstabbing bastard. He couldn't trust some suspicious hollowfied shinigami with his precious childhood friend.  
He told him as much before, and so he was surprised with the next words to come out of the Tenth Division Captain's mouth.

"I want you to protect Hinamori."

Huh. "Well if you're only here to state the obvious.." He passed Hitsugaya by to get to his quarters. He yawned loudly, "I mean it's not like it's a Captain's responsibility to protect their Vice-Captain." He was bushed, and as soon as he got to his quarters he was going to sleep like tomorrow would never come (it was possible that it might not), but his plans were impeded by a hand on his haori.

"You remember that final fight against Aizen?" Hitsugaya asked without asking.

Shinji faced the symbol of the Tenth on Hitsugaya's back, and couldn't see his expression. Of course he remembered. He remembered how powerless he was, how powerless they all were to stop Aizen's sick plan of barbecuing an innocent girl as a distraction.

From what he garnered from his talk with Momo, it seemed like Aizen did way more damage even before that fateful battle, to her, and by extension to Hitsugaya. Shinji always believed that his hatred for Aizen was unmatched by anyone. But on that day, as he was forced to watch the Captain before him run his childhood friend through the heart, and after hearing his desolate and rage-filled scream, he thought that maybe someone else could hate Aizen even more than him.

"Yeah." Shinji stood still and wondered where he was going with this.

"Something like that..something like that.." Shinji noticed how he gripped his hands into fists, "I don't want something like that happening to Hinamori ever again."

"That's why I'm here to ask a favor. Keep her with you at all times. Don't let her get into any battles on her own. I know it's selfish of me to ask you, but I know I won't be there to protect her. I can't afford to get distracted, and if you protect her, I won't have to worry as much."

He laughed softly and bitterly and finally turned to face him though his eyes were still hooded, "I said a favor, but I actually need to ask you to do a second thing. If I'm ever in a position where I might potentially harm Hinamori," Hitsugaya looked up and met his eyes. The resolve Shinji saw there reminded him of Ichigo and for some reason that scared him, "I want you to kill me."

With those words hanging in the air, the tension was palpable. That is, until Shinji guffawed and laughed in the face of a very flabbergasted Hitsugaya. Once his laughter died down, he looked at Hitsugaya and said in a patronizing tone, "That's hilarious! Selfish is right, you brat."

It was clear that Shinji had pushed him to his limit. The overly serious Captain tried so hard not to act his age, but there were times where his youth was clearly evident to Shinji. Times like now.

As a vein popped in Hitsugaya forehead, Shinji was eerily reminded of blonde pigtails and a red tracksuit.

"I'M SERIOUS YOU BASTARD." How they hadn't woken up the entire Squad Five barracks was a mystery to Shinji, as the pint-sized captain continued to shout, "She has to survive this war! She can't die because there are people who love her!"

His voice had quieted down and in a defeated tone he finished with, "Though she cares for Hinamori, I can't ask Matsumoto to be prepared to kill her own Captain."

Shinji was very tempted to bonk him on the head, though he was pretty sure such a gesture would be met with a furious freezing. Instead he settled for saying, "And that's exactly why you're selfish; for even thinking of asking such a thing from your Vice-Captain…" He shook his head, "And what about you, huh? Aren't there people who care for you too?"

"What happens to me doesn't matter."

"We really need to deflate that ego." He tried to stare down the ice Captain's unwavering gaze, "Luckily, you came to the right place to learn a little humility. Not everything revolves around you Chibi-Taichou," At the comment about his size, he looked prepared to murder Shinji then and there. Good. Anything was better than that hopeless gaze, "What about your Fuku-Taichou? How do you think she'll feel if she loses you on top of Ichimaru?" Hitsugaya looked shocked, but he charged on with his tirade.

"And what about Momo-chan herself? You really think she won't be affected if you die?" He challenged him, daring him to reply.

He didn't avert his gaze, but he didn't reply either. Finally, in a dull monotone he ordered him, "Don't call her 'Momo-chan'. Respect her rank."

Shinji shrugged and replied, "Not my fault you're too stubborn to be familiar with her," He conceded and told him, "I'll call her 'Momo' from now on."

"I've known her for far longer than you!" He snapped at him, and as if shamed for showing such weakness, he looked down briefly at the ground and continued in a calmer tone, "And that's not any better."

"If you have a problem with it, settle it with me after the war," Shinji said grinning cheekily at him, and added as if an afterthought. "And you're right about me knowing."

Hitsugaya raised his brow at his retreating figure.

"I've known about you since you were in your mother's womb," He called out and then continued in a sing-song voice, still not facing him, "_Shiro-chan_."

Hitsugaya spluttered incoherently for a moment and by the time he gathered his wits enough to berate him with a, "It's Hitsugaya-taichou to you!" Hirako Shinji had already disappeared into the night.

Left with no choice but to go back to his own barracks, he briefly took the time to appreciate the full moon. Soon, he might not get to anymore.

* * *

"Childhood friends huh?" Hirako Shinji sat directly outside his room and raised the cup he was holding to the moon, as if in a toast. "Maybe I should call Hiyori and the others before the world goes to hell." He smiled in amusement to no one in particular and downed his sake in one gulp.

* * *

As a lone figure shunpoed along the tiled roofs to get back to his division, one thought remained clearly embedded in his mind. It was in the mind of the one celebrating with the moon. It was in the mind of the one who worked hard and eventually fell asleep blessed by the moon's glow. It was in the minds and hearts of every Shinigami preparing for the coming war.

"_I don't want to lose what's important to me."_

**_Fin_**


End file.
